Preston came to me last night, he said I’m in a slump. I couldn’t readily agree or do anything other than getting mad the second the words left his mouth. I was mad, really mad. The words cut deep, not because they were false, but because they were incredibly true. I knew I was in a slump, I had known for some time just how bad it was getting. I was disinterested, I had no desire to do anything more than my routine: Wake up, School, See Preston, Watch CSI, Sleep, Repeat. I was sinking into a depression without caring to change it. I pride myself on being a “figure it out” type of person. Meaning, if something goes wrong, I simply figure it out. Some way, somehow, and I always came out on top. Recently, however, I haven’t known how to “figure it out” I’ve been racking my brain trying to remember all the things that lit me up inside. Well, I remembered them, I remembered the reasons I gave them up, and I knew then what I needed to do.
I love writing. I truly do, but there came a point where writing became something I felt I could be judged for, something that wasn’t valuable to my life because it would only cause issues. I’ve attempted to close myself off from the world because that’s what people told me to do. I’m tired of saving my feelings and thoughts entirely because I enjoy the connection I get to have with people simply by being real and honest. I’m tired of changing and adapting. I’m here to stay because blogging was a love and I let it go for what? People that I don’t care about? People that don’t care about me? That’s sad, but life is a constant evolution. You get to grow for yourself or die for someone else. I’ve chosen to grow for myself because anyone with something negative to say has never and will never truly matter.
So, I’m back. I’m happy to be back, and I’m happy to write whatever I want, because I can.
Talk to you soon,